Sunday, October 25, 2009

murphy's graphic design laws

• Your fonts will default.
• If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.
• Promises made by the salesperson never make it to the pressroom.
• The salesperson will promise anything.
• If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
• Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
• If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
• Spell checkers don't.
• Grammar checkers don't, either.
• Global search-and-replaces aren't.
• The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
• Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.
• If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.
• If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
• Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
• The best designs never survive contact with the client.
• You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
• Your best idea is already copyrighted.
• Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
• Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a copy of Publisher is a graphic designer
• No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
• The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
• The client's disk won't run on your equipment
• If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
• Your client won't "get it."
• A single picture tells more than a thousand words. Any technical picture has more than thousand bugs
• A single picture has more bugs than be described with thousand words

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